Creating a social yet safe environment for your child with allergies

When I started playdates for my child with severe food and environmental allergies, I had friends over to our house only. I felt that I could control our environment while I couldn’t control the environment in other locations. Prior to other children coming over, I always reviewed the foods that were not permitted in our household (nuts, peanuts, eggs and peas.) I know my child missed out on many playdates without Mom because her friends’ parents were nervous about the responsibility of having her alone (which I completely understand) or because I was too scared. It was a momentous occasion when she was invited to her first friend playdate at a friend’s house without me staying the whole time. Ironically, this first play date was at a friends house who doesn’t even have a child with allergies. But, the mother had taken every precaution — didn’t allow her children to have any food dangerous to my daughter that day, informed her children of the food they couldn’t have while my daughter was there and reviewed everything with me (food, medicines, etc) in detail. She confessed that she was nervous, but we worked together until she was comfortable and then I left my daughter there for an hour. The result of this playdate: my daughter felt so wonderful — she felt independent, “grown up” and happy. The dismissive wave of the hand that she gave me when it was time for me to go comforted me that she felt safe, ready and thrilled to have her first play date without Mom!

PLAY DATE TIP

There are only a few homes where I will leave my child for a playdate without me. Factors that impact this decision include the parents’ understanding, appreciation and the care that they take to make my child safe as well as the environmental factors (or absence of them) in the home itself. Once I am comfortable leaving my child at another person’s home for a playdate, it is imperative that I make the host comfortable and that I ensure my child’s safety. To make the host comfortable, I only let my child eat food that I bring to the house. When packing food, I pack a variety of items and always try to bring enough of everything so that her friends can eat the same food she is eating. Prior to the visit, I talk to my child about what she should do if she has a reaction while at her friend’s house when I’m not there – to let the mother know if she feels itchy or has difficulty breathing. Prior to my leaving the friend’s house, I spend enough time with the parent(s) to review use of the epi-pen, benadryl and her lotions. I also always review her allergies and the food that I have brought for her to eat.  After the playdate, I ask my child how the play date went and often congratulate her on taking such good care of herself and her skin.

Kathie Johnson

Welcome to my blog on dealing with a child with allergies

I am the mother of a five year wonderful girl named Morgan who has numerous food and environmental allergies. She is anaphylactic to eggs, nuts, peanuts and peas; her other food allergies include all dairy, soy, sesame, oats. In addition, she is allergic to almost all animals, dust, mold, latex, grass, most trees and the list goes on.  Morgan also has severe eczema which is a reaction to allergens. So far, she does not have asthma.

When we first discovered Morgan’s allergies, we didn’t even know where to go to begin learning about how to deal with them — physically and emotionally. Today, several years later, we know a lot more, but honestly we continue to learn all the time. I am starting this blog to create a space where I can share things I’ve learned as well as things I’ve felt dealing with a child with severe allergies and I hope others will share back. It’s amazing how much we as parents of children of allergies can learn from one another.

To start the first issue, I thought I would share a life altering moment for me. Back in November 2005, Morgan was in a bad spot physically. We thought we were managing her allergies well; we thought we were managing her eczema well. We had Morgan with great doctors –allergists, dermatologists, pediatricians, etc. But we couldn’t keep up – her skin was a mess, she (at the age of 4) still hadn’t slept through the night even 2 nights in a row, she was always uncomfortable and itchy. That November I asked Morgan what she wanted for Christmas. She said “Mommy all I want for Christmas is new skin.” I cried and my husband and I knew at that point, there must be more we can do for her.

 I am happy to say that Morgan is in a much better spot now. At 5 1/2 years of age, she sleeps through the night most nights, her skin is supple, she is able to focus on discovering the world and learning, rather than only focusing on how she feels. She is happy and hasn’t once even thought to ask for new skin.

So what changed? Many things in fact, including new doctors, new medications, new diet, changes in the home environment, changes in behavior and changes in our mindset. If you’re reading this and you have a child who suffers from severe allergies and eczema, I hope you know now that there are ways, often one small step at a time, to improve the life of your child.

TIP FOR THE DAY:

In each blog, I hope to also offer a tip that I’ve learned. We actually travel nationally as well as internationally with our children. Traveling with children with allergies can be very scary… will the airline serve peanuts even though they know a child who is anaphylactic to peanuts is on board? can I trust the food in other countries to be as well labeled as those in the States? can I bring all of my own food with me? How can I bring my child’s allergy medications on the plane? How can I make my child safe on the plane?

When we travel with Morgan, I travel with the following items: all of her medications in plastic see-through bags of course, a doctor’s note listing all of the medications, another set of her medications with a copy of the doctor’s note in the checked luggage, antibacterials wipes, crib sheets, rice milk (which is also listed on the doctor’s note) and all of her snacks. Always notify the airline that your child has a severe allergy to nuts. Some airlines will let you pre-board to wipe down your seating area. I put a crib sheet on the seat where my daughter will sit and the seat next to hers. My daughter always sits in the seat (with a crib sheet on it) next to the window, after I have wiped down the window, the tray (both sides), the arms of the chairs, the seat if it’s leather, the seat back in front of her (if it’s leather) and the seat belt.

Kathie Johnson 

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